I have a few things that I am desperate to get off of my chest.

One.  I'm sick of being the only person in this goddamned household that cleans anything.  Dishes, vacuuming, post party clean up, bathrooms, yard work, sweeping/moping, ALL done by me.  It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't sit there and talk to me WHILE I play maid.

Two.  When I invite you over to my house for dinner that means I am planning on feeding you.  If you're here to party, stay the fuck away from my food.  It costs money, and until you start offering to help me purchase my groceries, don't eat my food.

Three.  When I come into a bar that I have been frequenting about 4 nights a week for the past 3 months I do not expect to be carded or treated like shit or told that a disgusting drink (by fault of the bartender, not by nature of the drink) can't be remade.  It's not my fault your best friend's boyfriend likes me.  Pour me a drink, bitch. 

Four.  My phone tells me when, how many and who my missed calls are.  There is no need to call 7 times in a row. 

Rant. Rant. Rant.
I'm done.